You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think people are normalizing furries
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
