he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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