I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
