he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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