did you get engaged???
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
