if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
worst night to have a conscience
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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