Having a random hookup so left but love u
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
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