You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Barsexuality is the new black.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
