hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
