all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
