I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
