how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
God, I missed his penis.
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