you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Screwed.edu
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
