You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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