So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
