Can i not drive my cunt home
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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