you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Can I color on your dick again?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
