I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
