I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
