How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
