You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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