At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You don't make any sense
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