at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
