belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
God, I missed his penis.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
