i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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