I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
