if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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