She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
