i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
