I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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