North Korea, Best Korea!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
