Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
