hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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