chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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