Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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