singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
