You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
