I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
