Don't you send me to vm
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
