ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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