Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
