he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
