i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
