I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
