just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
