I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The air was thick with penises
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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