you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
