just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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