okay pat passed out under dana's car
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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