How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
